Hello, everybody. My name is Jon Lyons. A lot of people think I've got something to hide because my avatar is an adorable kitten, but no...that's just how I roll. If I or anyone else ever says anything unpleasant here, just look at the kitten for a while and continue reading when you feel better. It's always worked for me.

I figured I should take advantage of my accound on old nostalgic HongPong to finally make my voice heard on the internet. As such, I had a lengthy post prepared about defending the traditions of The Enlightenment and rational thinking from the forces of Post-Modernism and cultural relativism, illustrated with extensive anecdotes from times I've argued with hippies at parties ("Science can't explain a...a bird, man..."), but ultimately my familiarity with marks on paper or screen ends when people start calling them "words." I did draw a cartoon for the paper about it, though:

Don't worry, he'll eventually get his man and accuse him of being either in the closet, racist, or Islamophobic.

Anything else I could say would ultimately be a watered-down repetition of the rhetorical devices used on Butterflies and Wheels. That being the case, I would much rather you looked at these nine drawings I did of people getting hit in the head. Standby...

[A depressing note from Dan: we lack the bandwidth to host Jon's pics in the full resolution & size he sent us. I put the originals in this folder for your pleasure. Most of the pics O pain after the fold]

This one is a lot more fun if you imagine the sound effects.

//pipesandforeheads.com, if only it existed.  I dunno, maybe it does.  I'm not Google Fucking Web Archive.

Hope he's watching where that tooth lands...

Anyway, I saw Sarah Silverman's "Jesus is Magic" last night, thanks to the fine folks at the campus Hillel Center providing me with a free ticket, and let me tell you that she is without a doubt easily one of the funniest people ever to have lived. Good comedy should exist in a moral vacuum, with no concept of right or wrong, and few other people can manage to sound so oblivious to to the concept of taste on stage. And, you know, the jokes are good.

Theoretically I could contine this post and talk about how I saw Repo Man the other day and what a cool movie it is and how I finally understood it - Not really a movie to watch when you're 8. But the only reason for me to talk about something like that would be to try and justify posting silly pictures with some kind of personal narratives to make myself sound interesting. I should know by now that doesn't work.

This is Jon, signing off. [More pics on the flip... Pretty fucking awesome for a first entry --Dan]

Check your six.

The wages of Emo glasses...

Either a mallet or a falling anvil.  Hyuk hyuk hyuk.

Mullets make you weak against Karate chops to the neck.

Serves you right for being old.

No smoking, asshole.

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