WE ARE ALL MADE OF RETROVIRUSES: Your proteins came from pre-HIV germ line infestations, fragmenting. So re-synth the bugs, say eggheads! Reptilians? Why not?!

"Disabled retroviruses-fossils of molecular battles that raged for generations-make up eight per cent of the human genome." --New Yorker

In the category of awesome stuff, consider how retroviruses have apparently spent billions of years INFESTING YOUR DNA and indeed THE PLACENTA itself descended from VIRUSES. X-Files Black Oil is already here, people!!

How great is that? Feeling weird? It's not Scientology's "Thetans", instead it is the fragmented DNA of thousands of retroviruses that infected someone's sex organs during the last 5,000,000 years. And also these fragments effectively stuff up the actions of many new viruses: this is why chimps don't get sick from human HIV. Some insane old paleovirus (yes paleovirology) actually blocks the HIV from hurting the chimps from within the natural chimp DNA. It integrated to the chimp after they diverged from humans!

All these ancient diseases integrated with humans at such a slow rate, you can pick out the branching points of species' evolutionary chains by the sets of virus fragments their DNA picked up, cruising out the evolutionary tree.

PS who wants a flu vaccine now?

This seems to resemble the upcoming Will Smith flick "I Am Legend" perhaps?

Darwin’s Surprise Why are evolutionary biologists bringing back extinct deadly viruses?

by Michael Specter December 3, 2007

Disabled retroviruses-fossils of molecular battles that raged for generations-make up eight per cent of the human genome.

Thierry Heidmann’s office, adjacent to the laboratory he runs at the Institut Gustave Roussy, on the southern edge of Paris, could pass for a museum of genetic catastrophe. Files devoted to the world’s most horrifying infectious diseases fill the cabinets and line the shelves. There are thick folders for smallpox, Ebola virus, and various forms of influenza. SARS is accounted for, as are more obscure pathogens, such as feline leukemia virus, Mason-Pfizer monkey virus, and simian foamy virus, which is endemic in African apes. H.I.V., the best-known and most insidious of the viruses at work today, has its own shelf of files. The lab’s beakers, vials, and refrigerators, secured behind locked doors with double-paned windows, all teem with viruses. Heidmann, a meaty, middle-aged man with wild eyebrows and a beard heavily flecked with gray, has devoted his career to learning what viruses might tell us about AIDS and various forms of cancer. “This knowledge will help us treat terrible diseases,” he told me, nodding briefly toward his lab. “Viruses can provide answers to questions we have never even asked.”

When the sequence of the human genome was fully mapped, in 2003, researchers also discovered something they had not anticipated: our bodies are littered with the shards of such retroviruses, fragments of the chemical code from which all genetic material is made. It takes less than two per cent of our genome to create all the proteins necessary for us to live. Eight per cent, however, is composed of broken and disabled retroviruses, which, millions of years ago, managed to embed themselves in the DNA of our ancestors. They are called endogenous retroviruses, because once they infect the DNA of a species they become part of that species. One by one, though, after molecular battles that raged for thousands of generations, they have been defeated by evolution. Like dinosaur bones, these viral fragments are fossils. Instead of having been buried in sand, they reside within each of us, carrying a record that goes back millions of years. Because they no longer seem to serve a purpose or cause harm, these remnants have often been referred to as “junk DNA.” Many still manage to generate proteins, but scientists have never found one that functions properly in humans or that could make us sick.

Then, last year, Thierry Heidmann brought one back to life. Combining the tools of genomics, virology, and evolutionary biology, he and his colleagues took a virus that had been extinct for hundreds of thousands of years, figured out how the broken parts were originally aligned, and then pieced them together. After resurrecting the virus, the team placed it in human cells and found that their creation did indeed insert itself into the DNA of those cells. They also mixed the virus with cells taken from hamsters and cats. It quickly infected them all, offering the first evidence that the broken parts could once again be made infectious. The experiment could provide vital clues about how viruses like H.I.V. work. Inevitably, though, it also conjures images of Frankenstein’s monster and Jurassic Park.

“If you think about this for five minutes, it is wild stuff,” John Coffin told me when I visited him in his laboratory at Tufts University, where he is the American Cancer Society Research Professor. Coffin is one of the country’s most distinguished molecular biologists, and was one of the first to explore the role of endogenous retroviruses in human evolution. “I understand that the idea of bringing something dead back to life is fundamentally frightening,” he went on. “It’s a power that science has come to possess and it makes us queasy, and it should. But there are many viruses that are more dangerous than these—more infectious, far riskier to work with, and less potentially useful.’’

This explains pretty much every insane thing I've ever heard. "It wasn't me mom, it was ancient viruses inside me that sprang back to life!!!"

They are like ancient Linux patches that fix you up so you don't get the latest expl0it virus. Literally.

If that is how life really works, then frankly people we have to consider the idea that some of the dumbest conspiracy theories ever. Because the evil Iluminati are actually Different Viruses. Everyone's favorite crazed internet conspiracy theory: "The Elite are Shape Shifting Reptilians from Shangri La or whatever!" takes on a whole different spin. See Wikipedia:

Wikipedia, thanks: Reptilian humanoids are a common motif in mythology, folklore, science fiction, ufology, and the conspiracy theories of John Rhodes, David Icke, and Riley Martin. They are variously said to be extraterrestrials, supernatural entities, or the remains of a pre-Human civilization, and are known by many names, including Reptoids, dinosauroids, lizardfolk or lizardmen.

Alright now google is leading me in weird places: Reptilians and 2012.

And this one, which gets to my favorite conspiracy subject, conical hats:

Get Weird: Reptilians and 2012: it has to do with Sumerians: Quetzalcoatl - Crystalinks and Sumerian Gods and Goddesses. Sweet!!!

Shut up. Right now I am watching a video contending that over President Bush's shoulder is a GRAY ALIEN reflection during a press conference. Sounds crazy? Oh yeah well YOU'RE MADE OF VIRUSES! Via TheWatcherFiles.com - self-proclaimed X-File Christians who say that everyone in Congress are basically aliens or reptilians. What an awesome idea for a horror movie.

Wow. They have exposed these Reptilians in DC:

Akaka, Daniel (D - HI) Reptilian

Allen, George (R - VA) Reptilian

Bayh, Evan (D - IN) -- Alien/other type

Biden Jr, Joseph (D - DE) -- Reptilian

Bond, Christopher (R - MO) -- Reptilian

Boxer, Barbara (D - CA) -- Alien supported

Bunning, Jim (R - KY) -- Alien supported

Byrd, Robert (D - WV) -- Reptilian

Campbell, Ben Nighthorse (R - CO) Pleiadean (fallen to the other side)

Carper, Thomas (D - DE) -- Alien supported

Clinton, Hillary (D - NY) --Alien/other type

Conrad, Kent (D - ND) --Alien/other type

Crapo, Mike (R - ID) --- Alien supported

Daschle, Thomas (D - SD) --Reptilian

Dodd, Christopher (D - CT) -- Alien supported

Domenici, Pete (R - NM) --Reptilian

Dorgan, Byron (D - ND) -- Reptilian

Durbin, Richard (D - IL) --Alien supported

Feingold, Russell (D - WI) -- Alien/other type

Even Russ Feingold is an alien. How deep does it go? save us David Icke!

All right people... This post turned from sweet to completely ridiculous. Fuck it. It was the paleovirus!

Commenting on this Story is closed.

Tags for WE ARE ALL MADE OF RETROVIRUSES: Your proteins came from pre-HIV germ line infestations, fragmenting. So re-synth the bugs, say eggheads! Reptilians? Why not?!