The Tree-less Twin Cities and the End of an Era

Hi kids. Mordred here, to let you in on what's going here at HongPongWorldCo, Inc. Our dear founder and fearless leader, DanF, has left us. It is a dark day here at HongPong, and the flags (and selected pieces of my anatomy) have been flying at half-mast. Actually, Dan's only in lovely Steamboat, Colorado, and should be back... sometime, I've no idea when.

The point is that I'm the only elf minding the shop at the moment and, as such, am allowed to say and do whatever I want on this, one of the more serious wild-eyed screed forums I've come across in my very serious study of wingnut screed forums. So, with that in mind, I am announcing a complete change in the focus and style of Hongpong.com.

From now on, Hongpong is going to be a low culture celebrity gossip rag, focusing on celebrity sightings in the Twin Cities area. As Dan has already posted the picture he had taken of himself with Al Franken, we're probably not going to be releasing any new material in a few years, when Al Franken loses to Norm Coleman for a Senate seat. Maybe if we're lucky Jessica Alba or someone shitty like that will have a layover, but I wouldn't hold your breath.

It does mean an utter cessation of political news. Though many of you relied on us for all of your sporadic and questionable news, we hope that you will find our celebrity gossip just as fascinating. For example, did you know that Jessica Lange used to live in Stillwater for part of the year? Well, she did. Yeah, no shit, who'd a thunk it, right? A big time hollywood...Jessica Lange? Oh, she's that one who was in... umm... well, she looks like this

You remember her, right? She was in that commercial for cellphones where they tell you that their cellphone service is better than the other guys? Oh! Dorothy Poppins from Gone With the Wizard of Id was from Minnesota. The one with the beautiful blue suede shoes, she was America's sweetheart when this shot was taken:

Of course, she's aged since then, as well as died, but I'm sure she stills looks better than Melanie Griffith- drum roll, please.

Actually, this horrible wretched style of writing stale jokes about celebrities people stopped caring about around the time they stopped remembering that Alec Baldwin and what's-her-face were ever married is going to become something more akin to what is going to go down on BlackOutBlog, which from now on is going to change the meaning behind its name. No more is the "black out" element referring to damaged brain tissue and unpleasant bathroom cleanup. Now, I mean blackout as the condition of the media in a world less crappy then our own. That being said, I will be using the space therein to talk tirelessly and in depth about the very thing I supposedly despise. It'll be great.

'Kbedtimebye

Posted by Mordred at March 25, 2005 01:27 AM
Listed under .