Thieving Grand Avenue liberals steal my GODDAMN New York Times AGAIN

One of my little favorite things is getting the Sunday NY Times, even though I can't really afford it. There's more information in there than the average medieval person read in their whole life, and it's all spiffy...

Back in Minneapolis, they delivered it to my apartment door. Here it's left hanging on the stoop on Grand Avenue where those Latte Volvo types are attracted like moths to a Brooks Brothers cashmere sweater. Or maybe not.

But it really pisses me off that I rarely had problems in Minneapolis, but St. Paul is far worse. For the last 9 weeks they gave me the dailies for free, which is nice but they pile up. I just wanted my Sundays and they fucking steal them every time!

So I think I'm gonna have to cancel because I really can't afford it, and it sucks, but it's just too much bullshit to put up with. The Times has been a very badass paper lately, but what am I to do?